As the old ages goes “We teach people how to treat us”. Ironical as it is, we often out up with behavior that is simply not acceptable. We allow people to treat in a shoddy manner, by putting up with behavior we find unacceptable. We often do this simply to avoid any confrontations or differences. However, if you keep on such behavior, it leads to a sense of resentment. You hate yourself for putting up with such behavior in the first place. To overcome this, you need to decide that henceforth you would like to be treated with respect. This also means that you have to treat others with respect. Ask yourself what ‘being treated with respect’ means to you. You then need to find out ways and means to enforce this. The next step is to look at the people in your life. Will they be willing to change their behavior towards you? If not, can you do anything about this?
My friend Neha sharma, a 40 years old married woman says” in the initial days of my marriage, as another newlywed, I was very keen to blend with my newly acquired family. I began to bend backwards to please all the members of my family. I used to go along with whatever they said, do whatever they asked me to do, howsoever ridiculous or unreasonable their demand were. I simply could not utter the two letter word”no”. Even if my spouse forbade me to meet my relatives or friends, I used to simply give in to his demands. “But, over time I began resenting myself for not being able to stand up for what I want. I began to see myself as a weak person, not being able to speak her mind. And as I started to fall in my own eyes, the behavior those around me also began to change drastically. My relatives, in-laws and friends began to take me for granted. It was only after a great deal of introspection that I began to realize that the more I allowed people to treat me in a shabby manner, the more they really did. It was with great deal of determination that I began to assert myself. While, of course, I was never rude or impolite, I used to make it clear that I too had my own wishes and needs, and that I could not always go along with others wishes.